You can call me Wilco, but my owner calls me "Stupid Cat"

Hello, my name is Wilco and this is my page. With this page, I'd like to tell you about myself, my interests, and my kitty litter.

First, here is some basic information about myself.

I'm a British Shorthair, although I don't have an English accent. I'm supposedly blue and white, but let's be honest, I'm grey and white.

My favorite pastime is sleep. Second is resting my eyes. Third is taking naps.

My favorite toys are called pens.

I was named after the band, not the gas station.

My favorite game is knocking things off the couch.

My favorite show to watch is ice hockey. Second is watching the toilet flush.

My nicknames are "Stupid Cat", "Dumb Cat", "Lazy Cat", and "Stupid, Dumb, Lazy, A** Cat"

Things that scare the daylight out of me: anything that makes noise.

My favorite place to hang out: by any window.

People I have let pet me: my two owners (infrequently). Everyone else can kiss my butt (if they could catch me as I run down into the basement in terror)

Number of times I didn't use my litter box: 1 (but it wasn't my fault)

Places I would like to travel: upstairs, front porch, back lawn, up the chimney, anywhere high.

My first look at fire! Holy smokes!

When my owners are gone, I really like to run the house the way I like. I keep the music down low, and do what I like best. Here is my daily routine.

Where the heck are the Catskills anyway? Not anywhere near here I hope.

My favorite pastime.

Well, the only other thing that I am missing on this page are some links. These are my favorite ones, although there aren't too many. I need to rest my eyes for awhile, but I promise when I return that I will have more. Toodles.

Links:

www.housecatdreams.com

This site is about housecats like myself who dream of catching squirrels, torturing bunnies, and meeting other single cats.

www.catsspecialday.com

This site is about the day all cats dread. The trip to get the snip.

www.diedogsdie.com

This site is pretty funny. We have these dogs in the neighborhood that bark all the time. They won't let me get my sleep in.

www.cattricks.com

This site shows us cats how to act as if we care about our owners in order to get them to give us treats. Especially funny are the stories of how the humans think it is adorable when we rub against them. A laugh every minute.

00:00 - 04:30	Sleep (maybe porch, maybe bed, maybe desk)
04:30 - 04:45	Tear apart my owners desk chair.
04:45 - 05:30	Sleep in the comfortable desk chair.
05:30 - 05:35	Eat.
05:35 - 05:45	Try to wake up owners. For what? I don't know, but they've had enough sleep.
05:45 - 06:00	Realize that I'm getting my owners agitated, so I let them sleep a little more. They do feed me, y'know. I can't be too harsh.
06:00 - 06:30	Watch owner take shower. Get in the way.
06:30 - 06:45	Eat and get in people's way.
06:45 - 09:00	Take a nap.
09:00 - 09:02	Play.
09:02 - 12:00	Nod off.
12:00 - 12:05	Eat.
12:05 - 14:30	Rest my eyes.
14:30 - 14:35	Knock things off my owners desk.
14:35 - 17:00	Siesta!
17:00 - 17:05	Watch for owners to come home. When they arrive, I wait by the door. This makes it look like I've been waiting for them. I still don't think that they know I've been loafing around all day!
17:05 - 17:10	Let owner(s) pick me up and do my best to make it look like I show them some affection. This doesn't last more than a minute of two before I jump down, scarring them with my nails as I go.
17:10 - 17:15	Wait for treats. Eat the treats. Yummy. Try my best to not show any appreciation.
17:15 - 22:00	Porch door opens. I'm gone! Well, just onto the porch. Usually take a nap here, although I like to play with the stings on the blinds. I'll have them torn down in no time. Playtime takes about 5 minutes.
22:00 - 22:05	Eat.
22:05 - 00:00	Exercise time. Now I do my running up and down the hallways. Here I go....................!!!!!!!!

Thank you for taking interest in my page. I worked really hard at it. But, 6 hours later (including 4 naps), I feel as if I have accomplished something. Perhaps when you come back, I'll have some other things for you to look at. Until then, may you have a happy day with lots of Whisker Lickins for being such a good person.

Bye!

If you would like this page in another language, click below. I'll have others soon:

English